Ramblings of a Subfertile

I know a lot of you were concerned about the argument that Babe and I had. Everything is fine. We worked it out just like we always do. Babe expressed to me that he felt like I was pointing fingers at him and I expressed to him that I feel like fingers are always being pointed at me..because I am subfertile. I told him I was so tired of everyone in his family looking at me like I was the cause of our curren non pregnant state and how they all look at me like I have the scarlet letter on my forehead.








I know he understands my motives. Sometimes they are good but the way they are portrayed seem all wrong. I know that his is sensitive right now about our issues and I didn't take that into consideration when we were discussing our plans for this cycle. Looking back I could have been a lot more understanding and a lot less rude. There were tears and lots of them but good things will come of this.

It is a lot of pressure on me right now trying to achieve pregnancy. It seems like I have tried it all. I know that this month will bring positive things but it is very hard dealing with everything emotionally. The study stream of YouTube videos keep me motivated and strong. I know this journey has only just begun and we have a long way to go yet. I just have to continue to pray for stregnth, guidance, and patience.

On the TTC front I have been spotting for a few days now. I took an HPT this morning and it was a blazing negative. I expected that of course but now it has become more of a ritual to POAS because it makes me feel safe taking Ibuprofen knowing for sure I am not pregnant. So now that we know for sure...pass me those pills!